Wednesday, July 6
The Ends Justify the Means
I'm going to disregard the creepy nature of Facebook's facial recognition algorithm to discuss a practical usage that would help all of us out as a whole. The hot temperatures where we live have given rise to a recurring nightmare that doesn't go away until the rain starts again: shirtless men. Remember Ugly Naked Guy from Friends? It's like that, only he's outside lumbering about without a shirt or a tan. I want to look away as I drive, to keep my eyes on the road but he's distracting in a way that no attractive person could ever be. Like a car accident. I'm not a bigot, I think it's a fair rule that no one should go shirtless unless they are at home, a beach, or on a Las Vegas stage.
I think I have come up with a reasonable solution. Remember how I mentioned Facebook? I was actually going somewhere with that. I think it's time we use this facial recognition software to tag these people. They know who they are, but they need to know that we know who they are as well. Maybe we can nip this thing in the bud once and for all. Yes, two cliches in one. That's the kind of quality you get with Computence. So I say to you, pasty white teenager walking through my courtyard, keep an eye on your Facebook.